People always argue about whether cats or dogs are better, but I think these people are missing the point. There’s one type of animal that’s way better than cats and dogs combined. Can you guess what it is? I’ll give you a hint: go check out any other article on this site. Still can’t guess it? Wow, you’re bad at this game. The answer is fish!

So, allow me to end the great pet debate once and for all with the top five reasons why fish are the king of the pet store.

5. Variety

I’ll admit that dogs do come in many different shapes and sizes. There are dutiful German shepherds, amiable labs, and energetic beagles. Cats come in several different varieties as well, but the differences are so minor that when asked what kind of cat a person has, most people answer it with something like, “A brown one,” or “A fat one.”

Fish, on the other hand, are absurdly diverse. With over 32,000 known species of fish, they boast the most diverse group of any vertebrate animal. You’ve gotclassic fish like goldfishfrilly fish like the lionfish, enormous and dangerous fish like the great white shark (though I wouldn’t recommend trying to put one of those in your home aquarium) and bizarre fish like the seahorse.

4. They Won’t Pee on your Carpet

This one’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it? Well, it’s true. Fish make the perfect pet for people who prefer an orderly house. If you want to get a cat and scoop kitty litter, or get a dog and pick clumps of hair off of your clothes, then knock yourself out.

Fish are perfectly content to hang out in the special habitat that you design for them and spend their days flitting around the fish tank for your viewing pleasure. Plus, I can promise you beyond any shadow of a doubt that you will never have to clean up a steaming pile of fish poo. The most you’ll ever have to do is a little bit of scrubbing and tank maintenance now and then, but that’s still way better than picking up dog feces with a little plastic bag. Yuck.

3. Fish are Beautiful

Even die-hard dog lovers and cat people have to acknowledge this point. There’s a good reason why all of those pedigree dog shows don’t let any other species in. If there were a fish category, suddenly all the dogs would look dull by comparison.

2. Fish are Hypoallergenic

I genuinely feel sorry for people who are allergic to America’s most common pets. I’m definitely a pet person, so I think it’d be hard not having an animal buddy to greet you when you get home from work everyday. Luckily, even the most sensitive noses can tolerate a fish tank. You could be deathly allergic to shellfish, and you could actually keep several species of shellfish in your tank without really needing to worry about it. Fish make excellent neighbors: they’re small, tidy, and considerate.

Fish Tank Cleaning

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1. Anything Dogs and Cats Can Do Fish Can Do Better

“You can cuddle with cats and dogs. ”
You can cuddle with fish, too! What’s stopping you?

“Dogs can sniff out bombs and hunt animals. A dog’s nose can save lives!”
You think fish people are going to be impressed by a good sense of smell? Ha! Bears have the best sense of smell in the animal kingdom, and sharks are a close second!

“A dog can protect my home and my family.”
Haven’t you ever heard of moats? Surround your house with bull sharks and piranha, and criminals will think twice before breaking in!

“My cat can climb up my wardrobe. I’d like to see a fish do that.”
Fish can descend several miles beneath the surface of the ocean. Beat that!

“I can take my dog to the park.”
You can take your fish to the park, too!